Wednesday, July 20, 2005


with the enormous surge in popularity of this blog site, you can celebrate my next posting with a midnight release a la harry potter (no way, i don't read those books...reading them would be like, uh, like eating at mcdonald's or something). you can pre-purchase your special login password to get a sneak peak at what's coming soon! just send $25 to me and i'll hook you up. cash only please. no receipts given. warning: i will probably spend it at wal-mart.

buy big mac buy big mac buy big mac buy big mac buy big mac buy big mac buy big mac buy big mac buy big mac buy

ba da da da daa, i'm luvin' the comments. especially the ones that disagree with me. not especially the ones that seem like personal attacks, but hey, i can ride a bike with a knife in my back no problem. just makes the uphills a bit more painful. a big thanks to all those that defended me. it's sweet because until i checked my blog, i didn't even know i was on trial.

so now i've got the mic. and the burning question is, what, if anything have i done with ronald's coupons (which, by the way, are only good in canada)? having read all the comments yesterday, my mind was racing. i'm a sell-out, i should be using my chemistry degree to fight cancer and alzheimer's, the food is horrible, it's free food, i don't believe in god (entirely not true!!) etc. so what do i do? here's the answer...

i'm going to share with you two things that annoy me:
1. people that post as "anonymous." who is you?
2. people that write 12:00 a.m. or 12:00 p.m. there is no such thing. it's 12 midnight or 12 noon. please make a note of it.

...i glided my way down the canadian roads towards my next and incidentally last candaian town (i'll be in the big, bad, scary usa tomorrow). and on the horizon, yessssir, there they are, the most recognizeable emblem in the world. a big fat curved m. decision time. and so...

i got two flats today. in the span of 10 km. bloody bad luck. hope the patches hold, because all i want to do is ride.

...i just kept riding. screw it. i'm not eating there, decreased profit margins or not. but then, as if the m were a magnet, i turned and went inside. and i made a lifestyle change. seriously. today was big. screw vegetarianism. i feel the call of the carnivore. and so i ordered three big macs, took a deep breath, and munched. and you know what? they were delicious. and then i told myself, dang it hIrSch, no more overanalyzing everything, no more thinking life to death, just go with it man. quit trying to save the world and quit your dadgum making life such an ordeal. and so then i got a chicken sandwich. and then my years of non-meat eating caught up with me. i vomitted, quite violently, all over the mcdonald's lawn...

wal-mart has just rolled back prices. go get something plastic right now, right now!

...and as i looked at the vomit, i realized my own stomach acid was going to kill the grass! so now it's decision time, do i screw my environmental consciousness too? or do i dive to the lawn face-first and lick up my own vomit in the name of photosynthesis?! seconds were passing. chlorophyll were dying. i could feel the greenhouse effect thickening. it was all my fault!! i'm atlas. and i can't just shrug that off. so i did the next best thing, i grabbed a hose and diluted the chunkies of big mac and chicken. by this time, quite a crowd had gathered. and then i realized, dear god, i'm wasting all this water, i might as well be flushing toilets after every use!!...

because and only because my free internet time here on this college campus is running out, i'll get on with it. the above is fiction. a real shocker, i know.

i rode right past the mcdonald's to rocky mountain college where i ate my (all generic) peanut butter, saltines, strawberries, choclate raisins, and banana. it was delicious. and then three guys from japan walked outside near my bench and had a smoke. they said nothing to me. i retunred the favor. they were practicing their english. all sorts of different words. and then, unbelievably true, they were all three attempting to say (and i swear to this) "mcdonald's." they were having trouble. i was having trouble keeping quiet. and then i couldn't stand it any longer. i gave them the coupons. i even went into a little rhetoric of all that was behind those little sheets of paper. and i told them to please never actually spend money at mcdonalds because of all the things you have heard before. they agreed and said, "mcdonald's makes you fat." but they were college students and glad for some free grub. i feel it was for the best. if i have disappointed you, then by all means, revel in your disappointment.

yes, everything is a corporation. what good does it do for me to buy raisin bran at ma and pa store and not wal-mart because regardless, some dude at colossal kellogg's is reaping the dough, right? so what does one do? yes, i have picked and chosen what i support and what i will not support. i try to make the world as black and white as possible because in my eyes everything else is just an excuse. i've picked some easy targets. but i do what i do because i feel it is right. please remember and review the blogs: i, hIrSch, have never told anyone not to eat mcdonald's or shop at wal-mart. i have just stated my stance. and maybe it's ridiculous. maybe there's no point.

i just checked my blog comments again. you guys should check out comment #34 signed, "--the definition--." who are you oh great one? or shall i just call you my personal "webster"?

anyhow, it's time to go south to idaho. and i've got plenty to keep both my mind and wheels spinning.

so comment away! love me or hate me or indifference me, i am hIrSch.


Anonymous Natedog said...

Big Daddy,

Scope B-rent's comments to your last posting... We need the whazup on your rig. We debated for nearly an hour on whether that funky fender is your "trailer." Doesn't look like you can fit much on that thing. It also looks like you will be riding a permanent wheelie.

Rock on,


Wednesday, July 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Just don't feel like signing up for another username and password...I'm sure you can figure out which responses are mine! Get those tires fixed


Wednesday, July 20, 2005  
Blogger Sam Paio said...

gostei do seu blog ! parabéns !

Wednesday, July 20, 2005  
Anonymous Ginger Carnahan said...

Hey, Hirsch!

Wow! Looks like I missed quite the controversy while I was tending to the new little one! So I'm checking in late with a couple of random comments:

1. (about the controversial McD) You mean a lot to me regardless of what you decide on this and other questions. Yowza! People got all riled-up over this one.

2. I am also a really nostalgic person...Still looking for the balance so that treasuring the past doesn't lead to missing out on living in the present. At some point this equilibrium will gets closer and closer, but it certainly has tilted both ways since Mom died (too focused on the past/refusing to accept life continuing after that, too focused on living in the present and needing to ignore the past to be able to do that).

3. I'm struck by your honesty about both making life simple (uncomplicated) and making the world as black and white as possible. As much as I wish it were, my experience is that life is not simple. I have a question as well (as someone who has a tendency to do the same black/white thing): How hard is it to change things from one designation to the other? Because sometimes you get new information and the problem I've had with black/white is it's hard to incorporate new data (I don't like calling something white that has been black for a while, or vice versa). Plus what do you do when some aspects of something are black and some are white? Is it a triple-beam balance, and whichever side weighs more determines the overall designation?

And, lastly...
4. The pet thing reminded me that I don't think I'd told you this... (I love that you actually care.) Bandit died here in Durham while Dad was here waiting for the baby to come.

best wishes and much love,
ginger (and michael and makayla)

Wednesday, July 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hirsch...I hope that comment about knifes in the back wasn't directed at me bro. I'd like to think that you know me as well as I know you, and as such, I'm not just going to give you a pass on something, just because. I know that you wouldn't do that to me had me going...I thought maybe you were coming back around. In my mind I can see you getting a chuckle as you typed that because I know, you knew that I'd bite hook line and sinker. Hirsh 1, Toth got me good.

I wouldn't have gotten so worked up if I'd realized they were Canadian coupons...what, with the exchange rate a free Big Mac coupon up there will get you a McNugget down here.

I still would like to know what specifically about McDonalds has drawn your contempt. You may not try to force others to follow you, but it still would be nice to see the logic behind your rants.


Wednesday, July 20, 2005  
Anonymous T-dog said...

Good evening Big Daddy (and the fellas)-

Needed to work in a few:
1.) glad you opted for the's been a great read and am surprised in the anticipation. Enjoying the nostalgia. thanks

2.)Fellas-the trailer is legitimate. Hirsch can pack more on that horse than you would think sans wheelie, although that would be a great story Hirsch. In fact...we have the two wheeled version for the now chattering, constantly questioning, critical knee knockers and it's a great ride. Total combined weight with trailer = roughly 85 pounds (or about 38.6kg if you're pedaling on presta tubes) Maybe one day the kids will trade that in for their own wheels, and we will have our own four person pace line flying down the Blue Ridge Parkway.

3.) Hirsch, when not working lately, have come to some conclusions between spending free time reading your site and keeping up with the Tour in France:
-whatever you spend your time doing whether it be 1.) breaking research ground in photochemistry, 2.) research in ocular healing ointments, 3.) radiographically saving someone's heart, 4.)practicing law so that others may enjoy headwaters, 5.) financially advising to perfection so that we have the resources to help, 6.) helping improve someone's mouth so that they remember how to smile and not hurt, or 7.) allowing some of us the joy of imagining a transcontinent ride, it will all make a difference in some respect. It is our own responsibility to ensure that the difference is not only positive, but the one that was created for each of us.

4.) Hirsch, keep me posted on your progress to Big Sky country, you can tell the chikens hello for the kids!

Keep up the riding Hirsch; perhaps when you're done, Kona will let you keep the bike and we can put some shared miles down. B-rent, can Pa stead make us a rack for that trailer if we can come up with some more bikes!?

Oh yeah, how much will a life time subscription to the paid username and password cost? Adios-brotha

Name: Townsend
Alias: Not Anonymous
Location: Somewhere in the Blue Ridge

Wednesday, July 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Give me a break, Rob. You criticize or belittle nearly every aspect in our lives (e.g., having & raising children, working, even wearing a wedding ring!) and then tell US that we're stabbing you in the back!! Contrary to your belief, we're not all miserable. And to say you're "on trial," YOU'RE the one who decided to post all of these ideas and even asked us to "vote!" You once told me I'm "high maintenance," but I think that you actually deserve that description. Is whether to use these coupons really worth all of this thought and energy? And for those of you who keep saying McDonald's food is gross, I don't think that's the point here at all.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey dude. I'm sure you've already heard all I could ever tell you about your McDonalds situation. The fact is, you can't escape the corporate influence, so you might as well enjoy those tasty fries, because Kaitlyn's serving them with a smile to pay for community college next year. I patronize Walmart, I don't like it, but I go, because 4-pack Pudding Snacks are 80 cents.
Now today I went to Canseco's friendly neighborhood grocery, because I like to support local family-run businesses, and unlike a lot of other cities, small family supermarkets abound in N.O. But I can thank Pontiac and Graco brand carseats for getting us there safely, and for my driving entertainment, I can thank some dude in a suit in another state for dictating what the local DJs have to play.
My point, and there is one somewhere, is that maybe it's not worth it to get so worked up about things you can't change and do something about the things that you can. If riding a bike all over creation is what makes you happy, do it. But if you're truly that concerned about my soiled Huggies output, put that degree to work and come up with something biodegradable that would revolutionize the product. Or you can pedal your skinny butt down here and see how long you last wringing out cloth diapers full of yesterday's Gerber meal-in-a-jar.


Wednesday, July 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hirsch...I was really starting to feel bad for you last night...maybe we are all being too hard on you. But then I went back and read you little manifesto and quite frankly Jamie summed it up pretty well. Hirsh your rants about life and society is an insult to all of us that have chosen a more traditional lifestyle.

Come on Hirsch, think of all that you've gone on about and then consider what my life is like. There is not one thing that I do or am that you haven't critisized in one way or another...I'm a gun nut, I raise cattle (mr. vegan), I work for a big pharamaceutical company, my life is very routine, Melissa and I want to have a large family, we shop almost exclusively at Wal-Mart, I've got one of the healthiest 401K's for someone my age and my wife and I have never spent a night apart in 7 years of marriage. So Hirsch, is there anything else in my life that you care to point out is wrong.

While I'm thinking about it, when did you become qualified to dispense relationship advice to others. Spending months apart is good for a relationship? Again, I'd like to see you prove that one using logic and reason.

You know you do it in a way that is slick to...yuo don't tell other people taht they are flat out wrong, btu you give this sense of moral seperiority. Its like saying "I've found the meaning of life, but its opposite of what your doing, but that cool and all..." Before you start throwing a pity party for how we all judged you, maybe you should consider just how you've judged all of us.

I'll tell you what, if your qualified to say that we're all not happy with what we do, I'll turn that back on you. Maybe the reason that you find so much fault with our lifestyles is that its what you'd really like to have but you've gone down a different road. Now you have to justify in your mind that somehow you should be happier than all of us poor unenlightened folk. Its failry common to try and cast what we want, but can't have, in a very negative light as so we can deal with not having it.

The killer is Hirsch there was a point in time where you wanted the same things as all the rest of us...a good job, a wife and nice home...and you were happy. Thats why I want to know the logic behind your reasoning for things. I'm having a hard time understanding how you got from there to here.

Thursday, July 21, 2005  
Anonymous Gayle said...

Hey Hirsch....

Its been great reading so far and I so look forward to what happens next.

I'd have to say that I have really taken a look at eating a Mickey D's in a whole new light and after watching Supersize Me....pretty sure I'll won't go back. Stick with your will take you far.

As for Walmart...I like Target better. But I'm sure that doesn't make it any better. (The dog food is cheaper at Target.)

Speaking of pets, yes I have one. I had 2 but my cat Tasha died last year. So now I just have Jack the Black Lab Mix. Both were rescues because I can't see paying hundreds or even thousands of dollars for pedigree puppies. That's just my opinion, not a strike against people who buy pedigree puppies.

I talked to your Dad the other night...he's proud as punch and I'm so glad I got to meet you and get to talk to your Dad. Can't wait to read the next installment. Keep peddling!!

Thursday, July 21, 2005  
Anonymous B-rent said...

AND the saga continues. I must make some comments on the comments. I still don't get the trailer thing...look at the picture tay, it doesn't make sense.

I think the best way to sum up the differences between Hirsch and all his friends and commentators are the words Tay said: "It is our own responsibility to ensure that the difference is not only positive, but the one that was created for each of us." See the world through your eyes only and see it as you like. But criticism of other's values and decisions are not black and white. You can say "I never said such and such", but implications are unsaid statements.

My personal opinion: take everyone for who they are and value them for the ideas and the challenges they give you.

By the way Hirsch, email me at, not my other mail, and let me know if you want a contact in Argentina.

Thursday, July 21, 2005  
Anonymous b-rent said...

one other thing. you don't have to get a username and password to put your name on your post. just click the other button below

Thursday, July 21, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...



life on the road sounds good. Giving the Asians Mc D coupons is like Castro giving people cigars. Remember, life is really just a super good play station game. It isn't real because in a real world people wouldn't kill people and children wouldn't starve. Hang onto your good energy and give bad energy back to those who try to dump it on you. Now push the X button and giddy up.


Thursday, July 21, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey hirsch..

rock and roll brother.

your site is fueling some people to take their frustrations out on are becoming some kind of weird internet scapegoat for people's pent up zone. no need for their to be in your head as you ride...a waste of your time. focus that brain on positive...not outwiting people that will never allow things to just be. it seems like most of this back and forth is a both-side-self-feeding-masquerade. end this sillyness.

i love you man. all the best. think of your health and journey often.


Thursday, July 21, 2005  
Anonymous Ted said...

Good for you, Hirsch! You upheld your convictions and at the same time helped out others in search of something to eat. I'm enjoying visiting this site and witnessing all the controversy you're stirring up. I also enjoyed the fiction and recall the various emotions that emerged in me as I read on, and finally erupted in laughter, then relief when I saw that it was indeed fiction. Keep on with your great adventure!

Thursday, July 21, 2005  
Anonymous T-Dawg said...

Here's some disagreeing for ya Hirsch that's worth it:

B-rent are you out of your mind. (yes, that's meant as a statement.) Yes, I looked at the photo, and yes there is the bottom of the wheel evident photographically....perhaps you couldn't see it because it wasn't a radiograph! All you have to worry about anyways,is whether Pa Stead can fabricate a rack for that thing capable of carrying 7+ boats on it! Come on... Good night-Tay

Thursday, July 21, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi all-

Just want to take to seconds and talk about the diaper bit.

Hirsch had made a comment about using cloth diapers, and I understand where he is coming from. I think that a lot of folks out there might share his opinion. But I just want to provide a few quick thoughts regarding cloth vs. disposable.

I currently work for the Health Department and do a lot of investigations where there are outbreaks of disease. Especially, when it comes to child and adult care facilities. So, I see a different side of this.

Most parents are aware that when kids have a mess, sometimes it is not just contained in the diaper. Sometimes it mashes all down the legs, and up the back. Yum!! Well these cute little tots then crawl around on the floor wiping this accident on the ground and it gets on the toys, which ultimately gets into the mouth. So, when one child gets sick, it can spread pretty quickly.

So, back to the diaper bit. Unfortunately, cloth diapers are not as absorbent as the new conventional diapers. And if you have never used cloth diapers, then you probably didn't know but you have to pre rinse them before the diaper service will take them. And sometimes parents or care taker may wash there hands (really well),and sometimes they won't and then get off doing other things like making snacks or lunch (which is easy to do when your busy). And you can see how disease spreads again. So, I understand the concern about biodegradation. But for sanitary purposes, if you are taking your child to a day care, or have more then one young child at home, its probably best to stick with disposable.

Now, If you are a parent, and concerned about the amount of space that trash takes up in a landfill. And are worried about this dilemma disposable vs. cloth and want to do something to reduce the amount of waste going into the landfills. Then I suggest recycling, if your not already doing it.

After spending 2 years hand sorting over 10,000 lbs of trash (for research). I have learned most of our waste is about 50% recyclable. (now this will vary depending on where you live.) That being said. Many of you may not know but, landfills are designed so that anything that goes into them can not easily biodegrade. (Again, this is for public safety of ground water.) So, the are the diapers not biodegrading, but neither are the phone books or the milk cartons, or the old mattress. So, if you are concerned about this, Opt to recycle: paper, plastics (usually 1& 2), glass clear, green, and brown. Newspaper, cardboard, metal, Al. Donate old furniture and cars. If you have a broken appliance, see if you can give it to a repair shop for them to fix and resell, instead of taking this stuff to the dump. This will have a far greater impact on the volume of what is put into the landfill then diapers.

Just some thoughts..

Saturday, July 23, 2005  
Blogger tucbiker said...

anonymous comments do suck.

Sunday, July 24, 2005  

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